I Can Has Feedburner?
Really, I just wanted to use that title on one of my posts. I do have Feedburner, but I don’t know what in the hell it does. All I know is that their logo looks cute. When I go to the Feedburner site, everything looks like a confusing blur, and I have no idea what any of it means. I feel that as a blogger, I have a responsibility to keep up with the technical aspects of this stuff, but since I have a documented technological impairment (for which I’m considering applying for Disability), it’s almost impossible. I just go through the motions.
I ping, only because I read somewhere that you’re supposed to ping. And I like the happy sound of the word “ping.” I didn’t know what SiteMeter was until someone on the WordPress Forums said something like, “Of course, you could always check your SiteMeter stats…” I had no idea what she was talking about, but I found it, signed up for it, and I LOVE it. It’s bright and colorful, and you can watch a little red ball bounce across a map of the world as people visit your site. They have a cute logo too. If I’ve learned nothing else from blogging, it’s that cute little logos are important.
I don’t even understand feeds, for Jeebus’s sake. I checked out library books on the subject,
but my brain almost exploded, so I returned them. I think maybe I’ve successfully posted a feed link, but really, I’ve never been sure. As for subscribing to others’ blogs– I do my best. There are some I have problems with (i.e. Nick’s Bytes), so I keep up with them the old-fashioned way, and just add them to my Favorites folder.
Widgets! I have managed to get a few of those to appear– the kind that don’t link to anything, or those where the site has posted instructions for linking printed in comic book form. After two or three hours of wrestling with the “how-to’s” I’m left with a few more gray hairs, a widget in my sidebar, and a great sense of accomplishment. Oh, and a heart condition. Mostly, what I’ve learned about widgets is that it’s really fun to say “widgets.”
This is how I know I’m growing old. While my brain cells are getting creaky and dying off, technology is expanding and leaving me in the dust. I’ve asked Tom for help, but he says, “It’s all too geeky for me.” I read knowledgeable people’s blogs, and find them fascinating. Lorelle on WordPress is the Encyclopedia Britannica of blogging. Netty Gritty posts about all of these great tools and gadgets. Techno-smarties jump in and engage in conversations about all sorts of important-sounding things. But after a few minutes, my brain fogs, my eyes start to glaze over and I want to cry. I timidly enter the WordPress Forums seeking help, and every once in a while, I’ll ask a question, but only after I’ve looked to see that no other poor sap has posted the same one. There’s about a seven out of ten chance that if they did, they unleashed the wrath of the Blogging Elite, in which the technologically savvy have raked them over the coals for their stupidity. My self-esteem suffers enough, so I usually just stay here in the fringes, knowing that I’ll never get Free Rice linked to my sidebar.
Here are some things that I believe will help me with this dilemma:
- A blogging primer. First grade level, like the Dot and Jim books I learned to read with. “See Jim. See Jim run. Run Jim, run! See Dot. See Dot link to feeds. Link Dot, link!”
- A trip to India, where I can climb a mountain and gain enlightenment from a mystical guru. I’d ask, “Oh great guru, what is the meaning of Feedburner?” to which he’d probably answer something cryptic, like “Beats the hell outta me. Why don’t you get a real life?”
- A session with Uri Geller, who can mind meld with me, and somehow pour technological know-how into my Chicken McNugget-sized brain.
- A Mercedes, breast implants, liposuction, a personal masseuse, and a million dollars. This may or may not help with the blogging thing, but I feel that it’s worth a shot.
Meanwhile, I have another cover story due in a few days, so of course, I’m procrastinating and writing here instead. I’m going to hang a very appropriate “out to lunch” sign on my door, but I’ll be back soon.
Little Miss said,
November 30, 2007 at 3:51 pm
I know nothing about procrastination, that’s why I’m reading your blog and commenting here instead of editing a very geeky, 78 page written-by-engineers-for-engineers-but-really-for-real-people-to-read-with-an-acronym-dictionary-and-aspirin document that’s due in less than a week. Sigh.
Feeds. I can help you with that. I’ll use my favorite analogy: food. Instead of me having to go to the freezer for my favorite icecream every night, someone brings it directly to my lap, spoon and toppings included. Makes me not have to do a thing but lift arm and open mouth.
Same goes for RSS feeds. You don’t have to go to every site to read them, they are all automatically fed to you. Oh, and here’s a trivia test. Do you know what RSS stands for?
= very big grin.
Somehow I suspect you really knew what feeds meant, but it gives me an opportunity to boast my little bit of knowledge around blogs and software. No where near as knowledgeable as the majority out there.
Um, what else did you want to know? I’m good at interpreting geek speak into stuff that my two year old grandson can understand. Would that help?
moonbeammcqueen said,
November 30, 2007 at 4:10 pm
@ Little Miss: I’m answering this now. In this way, we’re assisting each other in our quest for um, not getting a damned thing done (though your 78 pages does sound fascinating *yawn*).
Okay, you asked for it. Here’s what I know about feeds. If someone has the RSS icon (which stands for REALLY SIMPLE SYNDICATION <<<<< [note knowledge]), I can often click on it and subscribe (although I’ve noted the absence of this little gadget on your fibro site–hint, hint). It’s easy if I can subscribe via “Live Bookmarks.” Where I get into trouble is when Live Bookmarks isn’t an option. I do have a dropdown list of feeds that I have successfully subscribed to, but there are others that I want to subscribe to, but if they don’t offer Live Bookmarks, I don’t know how. If they’re in WordPress, I just blogroll them. Otherwise, it’s my bookmarks folder or my sidebar list of favorite sites.
Also, I don’t know what options I’m giving people to subscribe to my own blog (if any). All of those little icons for Yahoo, Google, digg, etc.– do I need to enable people to link on any of them? How do I link to them as an alternate feed?
So, I do have a little bit of knowledge, but it’s very hit or miss.
What else do I want to know? Hmmmm… okay, what in the world is Feedburner all about, and how will it improve my life, other than letting me put that “Recent Posts” thing at the top of my blog? I don’t understand ANY of the information it gives me. I don’t even know why I have it, except for the fact that so many people have it, so it must be important.
I’d also like to know how to link to “Free Rice.” And how to categorize my posts, which I’m not sure if I can do.
If you decide to accept this mission, please know that I probably won’t be able to delve into it until after I write my story. My brain has only x amount of space on any given day, and I have to devote it to writing about Santa Claus.
Little Miss said,
November 30, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Me neither (as in delve into this) but I’m very impressed that you know what RSS stands for. It took me foreevvverrrr to figure it out.
Here’s a tidbit of acronymn trivia I just learned today. CRUD stands for create, read, update, delete in software terms. I just thought it was what we writers say when we realize we are totally OUT OF TIME and HOSED.
BBS, TTYL, TTFN, and all that stuff.
CuriousC said,
November 30, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I’ve actually learned more here than stumbling around the forums. Also, later (next year is fine, too), I signed up for Sitemeter but am stumped (and have yet to go look into) where I add the code to my blog. and your category question has me confused and wondering if the templates allow some things and not others… Just curious!
Ion Danu said,
November 30, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Thanks, Moonbeam! I already donated 1000 grains to United Nations…it wasn’t easy but I did it…
Sometimes Saintly Nick said,
November 30, 2007 at 7:33 pm
You have problems subscribing to my blog? Ouch! I wonder if others are having problems, too.
I know that I also have problems linking to some blog feeds.
All of this neat technology and I just bumble through it the best I can!
Botmo said,
November 30, 2007 at 10:31 pm
What level did you reach while giving rice, Miss Smarty? I can’t get off 43. I poop out after about 5 bowls and then just go back and forth between 42 and 43. You is the Boggle/Scrabble Champ, so what’s your score?
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 1, 2007 at 1:30 am
@ Little Miss: See? You made my brain start to explode with all of those acronyms. I’d never heard of CRUD. Thanks for educating me.
@ CuriousC: SiteMeter’s about the only tool I can understand, and when it showed how to copy and paste the code into my sidebar, it actually worked! The categories thing— I don’t know. It may be that I need to just get rid of some of mine, and condense it. It just looks so sloppy, and I’ve seen other people’s who were so well organized (number of posts next to each category, etc). I’ll keep working on this.
@ Ion: I’m glad you donated! It’s a fun way to give, and I did check it out to make sure it’s legitimate (it is). It helps with the vocabulary too!
@ SSNick: Yes, I’ve always wanted to subscribe, and I can’t. It’s not your fault. So far, the only way I can figure out how to subscribe is if I’m given an option to add it to my live bookmarks. I see all of the feed icons on your site, but not the RSS feed icon, so it’s had me stumped. I’ll keep trying. You “bumble through” very well! I love the fun stuff on your sidebar! BTW, I was surprised to find that my blog is less evil than yours– probably because of some of your Monday jokes!
@ Botmo: It gives you an option to keep track of your vocabulary level. I’ve been as high as 47 and as low as 40. I poop out too, and usually stay right about where you are.
Little Miss said,
December 1, 2007 at 2:13 am
MB – you should see the internal Microsoft acronym dictionary. On second thought, I wouldn’t want your brilliant writing mind to explode all over your screen. Whatever would we do if we didn’t have more delightful stories from you!
Oh, and if you have IE7, there’s an orange RSS button that is active if you can subscribe to a site, then where you have your favorites list, there’s also a feeds list. I use that sometimes. Mostly I use my blogroll.
Brian said,
December 1, 2007 at 11:02 am
You talked me into signing up for SiteMeter.
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 1, 2007 at 11:16 am
@ Little Miss: Hmmmmm…..do you think part of my difficulty is that I use Firefox as my browser? I’d never considered that. And no! I can never look at that dictionary–EVER!
@ Brian: I think you’ll LOVE it!
Life With Buck said,
December 1, 2007 at 12:56 pm
I must be as dumb as a bag of hammers because after buying Lorelle’s book on blogging, reading countless explanations, having my daughter’s computer expert boyfriend explain it to me, AND seeing it spelled out for me here, I STILL don’t understand at all how Feedburner can help me. And I always get to people’s blogs the old fashioned way — my favoriting them or putting them in my blogroll. I click on the same people two or three times a day.
But you’re so right about the WordPress Forums … it’s terrifying over there. When I’m not wasting time doing something else, I go there and read the awful things the Elite say to newbies, and how hurt the newbies are when they slink away never to be heard from again on the Forum. I think some WordPress geeks have an account for the sole purpose of lurking in the forum so they can pounce on, and riducule, those less computerifically endowed.
Brian said,
December 1, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Trust me when I tell you that Firefox is way superior to IE. I’ve actually got a post going up soon that says exactly that.
If you want to subscribe to a site’s RSS feed, just search the site for the feed link or button and FF will ask how you want to handle the feed. I use Google Reader, which makes it incredibly easy to track the newest blog posts of my favorite blogs. There’s also a Blog Surfer under your WordPress Dashboard that lets you add websites to track.
aniche said,
December 2, 2007 at 1:31 pm
U’ve really underestimated Indian Mystical Gurus.They are all in London or New York sippin on Gin and Juice.They might just be owning feedburner for all we know.
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 2, 2007 at 4:09 pm
@ LWB: You made me feel a lot better. And I love the term “less computerifically endowed.”
@ Brian: Oh good– I’ll stick with Firefox. They have a cuter logo than IE. But Firefox doesn’t ask me how I want to handle the feed. Sometimes, the “Add to Live Bookmarks” think pops up, sometimes it doesn’t. If it does great, if it doesn’t, I just have to either blogroll it, or if it’s not WordPress, add it to my bookmarks folder on my toolbar.
@ aniche: So, instead of climbing a mountain, I just have to find the right bar? This sounds much more interesting to me. If I don’t gain wisdom from them, I can at least enjoy a martini.
Chris said,
December 3, 2007 at 11:31 am
Sitemeter is a great tool, but be wary. It’s great to see how many visitors are coming in to see your posts, but it’s highly addictive. I should know, I’m a recovering stat-aholic. It started out innocent enough; I’d check my hitcounter perhaps once or twice a day, then it became more frequent. Every hour, then every 10 minutes, until I just left a browser window open on Sitemeter, refreshing it every minute or so for new information on my latest visitor. Next thing you know my dining choices were based on a restaurants wifi capabilities (I ate at Panera a lot, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing).
I’m doing much, much better now.
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 3, 2007 at 12:21 pm
@ Chris: You’re so right! I’m just now starting to recover from my addiction, too. It’s not just the hit counter, it’s also seeing where all of the readers are located, and how long they stay on your site. It sounds like your addiction was a little worse. I’m glad you’re getting your life back.
K said,
December 3, 2007 at 12:47 pm
I’ll second the addictiveness of Sitemeter. Thankfully, its addictive properties are somewhat adulterated by WordPress’ refusal to allow Javascript in its widgets.
I’m old-fashioned myself and therefore don’t understand the necessity behind widgets like Feedburger. I’d rather just go to a person’s blog through my Favorites and check for new content “in person.” But I guess in an attempt to remain relevant, I offer RSS on both of my blogs.
The whole thing is thisclose to being too complicated for me, and I’m only 27!
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 3, 2007 at 12:58 pm
@ K: You’re making me feel better. I think that a lot of us start blogs just for the fun of it– suddenly it becomes this big, complicated mess. I think the main reason I stress about the feeds is because I like visiting certain sites whenever they have new content, and I can only get the updates on certain ones. As for Feedburner- bleh. I give up trying to understand it.
Renée said,
December 3, 2007 at 1:55 pm
I’m just proud of myself that I get the joke behind “I can has Feedburner.” LOL.
Oh, my darling MBMcQ, I love you so. You make me laugh every single time I read you. This time I’m laughing at you, of course, because I know everything about blogging. Yeah, right. BTW what is a feed?
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 3, 2007 at 4:22 pm
@ Renee: You always make my day (even if you are laughing at me)! As best as I can figure, a “feed” is when my boyfriend takes me out to dinner. Otherwise, I haven’t a clue.
David said,
December 3, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Yeah moonbeam, let’s don’t let it become a big complicated mess. The beauty of blogging lies in the fact that it’s a way to communicate widely, freely, and instantly. Like all software, it can easily become feature-bloated crap, but only if we let it.
Don’t worry about the alphabet soup and just keep pumping your words and thoughts to us, your readers. We don’t care how nerdy you really are. At least I don’t. As you’ve observed and commented, it’s all about the writing.
Like Little Miss, I work in the field of techno-translation, doing end-user support at a small college. I’m constantly having to tell my users in language they can understand, WTF is going on with their errant systems. It’s a challenge sometimes, but I find it’s best to focus on the audience. If they don’t care, then I try not to overexplain, otherwise I try to educate in the optimal way. Gotta watch the eyes. If they glaze over at the word “megabyte” then I downshift. Sometimes it’s fun to find a new analogy.
Renée said,
December 4, 2007 at 2:19 am
(even if you are laughing at me) Oh my goodness, did you miss my sarcasm –or are you just being sarcastic back at me? ::confused::
You know how people sometimes say “I dreamt about you”? Well, I haven’t dreamt about you (yet), but I have blogged about you, dear Moonbeam. Check it out at http://itssomethingtodo.blogspot.com/2007/12/moonbeam-mcqueen.html
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 4, 2007 at 3:02 am
@ David: I’m trying to keep it simple. And I agree– blogging can be a beautiful thing. If I learn too much about the technological aspect of it, it may interfere with the purity of the whole process. Yeah, that’s it. I’m choosing to be ignorant! I think my eyes glazed a little when I read “megabyte.”
@ Renee: I read it! I loved it! And thank you! I absolutely caught the sarcasm, and I loved that too. I’m sorry to have confused you. Also, I’m thrilled that you liked the title, since that’s what got me started on this whole topic to begin with!
ellaella said,
December 7, 2007 at 2:30 pm
You’re on very clever and creative writer. Good stuff.
PS – Ping-o-Matic is built in. You don’t have to ping, except sometimes Technorati needs a nudge ping. Ahem…
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 7, 2007 at 3:04 pm
@ ellaella: Thanks! I had a lot of problems with Ping-o-Matic. I know that WordPress automatically pings it, but there used to be a lot of problems with their site (I don’t know if this is still the case). Anyway, someone suggested pingoat.com, and I really like it. Cute name and cute logo, which of course are the most important parts of technology.
Little Miss said,
December 9, 2007 at 4:18 pm
I tried Sitemeter now for my Little Miss Sew N Sew site and I officially think they suck. LOL. That or I’m clueless about how to get it to work. They show no traffic since end of November, and that’s untrue because people have commented on my blog. Weird. Sometimes, I think we can over-technologize ourselves. Is that a word? Hmmm.
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 9, 2007 at 9:26 pm
@ Little Miss: No, something’s wrong. It gives an incredible amount of data. Plus, the little bouncing red ball I told you about. If I can get it working, your grandson can, so I’m wondering what’s going on. It should just kind of hold your hand and walk you through the process (which is how I was able to get it).
Little Miss said,
December 10, 2007 at 12:45 am
Hmmm. Well, I’ve never seen the little boucing red ball – except on Romper Room.
I probably did something wrong to set it up. I just set up the basic account, not the premium paid account. Is that perhaps why? I’ll look into it further. Right now, I’m battling the voodoo that Microsoft Word 2007 is inflicting on me. Why is it that Word thinks it knows better than we do what we want? LOL.
Little Miss said,
December 10, 2007 at 1:09 am
Okay, I think I figured it out. I had added it originally to my blogroll the way SiteMeter tells you to, and I didn’t like it. So, now I’ve put it in a sidebar widget, so maybe it will track. I guess you have to have the icon on your blog to make it work? It wasn’t tracking anything since I had done it the other day, so we’ll see. Now I feel very computer illiterate. LOL.
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 10, 2007 at 3:22 am
Yay! I’m glad you got it working! I went to your blog and checked it. One suggestion– if you don’t want your statistics to be made public, there’s an option you can choose. It lets you keep track of your statistics, but readers who click on it will be directed to the SiteMeter home page.
Little Miss said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Okay, I fixed that privacy level. I think that’s the thing that put me off in the first place. I just didn’t have the time or energy then to fix it. Now it should be better. I still don’t see a bouncing red ball though. I see a red dot on the world map, but not bouncing. Maybe my site just isn’t cool enough for it.
moonbeammcqueen said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:41 pm
@ Little Miss: Maybe the ball is just resting. Once you start getting a feel for the site, it’s really interesting (to me, anyway). And excuse me, but your sites are EXTREMELY cool.
Little Miss said,
December 11, 2007 at 11:36 pm
That’s so sweet of you to say about my sites.
Netty Gritty said,
April 24, 2008 at 2:19 pm
moon,
to say that i am truly very sorry is an understatement. i remember saying that i will help you get freerice in your sidebar. but right after the big storm happened, i was diconnected for over a month and when i finally got it back, i forgot all about my promise to help you.
but it’s better late than never, right? here is the link where you can choose a freerice image for your sidebar. i think you will have no problem putting the code in a text widget, but if you do, do tell me. i AM connected and hopefilly will be so in the near future.
http://www.freerice.com/banners.html
and you know you are always welcome to ask for suggestions/help about anything concerning wordpress.com.
you does has feedburner, it seems!
Moonbeam McQueen said,
April 24, 2008 at 6:34 pm
@ Netty: It’s so nice to see you around again. I will do my best to get Free Rice smooshed into my sidebar this weekend. If I get stuck, I’ll let you know.
I does have feedburner– I just don’t know exactly what it does!