Moonbeam McQueen

I use this blog space for many reasons. Sometimes, it’s to write a story. Other times, I share some family lore, an essay about my city, a link, or a rant. Occasionally, something will break my heart, and I bring that here too.

When I posted about Megan Meier’s suicide the other day, I had no idea of the response it would get. I just knew that it disturbed me, and sometimes, I just can’t stop thinking about something until I’ve written about it. I’m used to sharing my thoughts with those who read this blog, so that’s what I did.

I never anticipated that people would “out” the other family involved in this situation on this site, or on any of the other sites that they’re doing it on.

Megan’s death, and the situation surrounding it, has understandably infuriated many people. They’re furious on behalf of the Meiers. Some are posting comments on blogs to vent, or express sorrow and outrage; others are digging up all of the information they can find on the family, and sharing it with the world.

On one hand, the family had it coming. In another way, this all just breaks my heart more. What started all of this in the first place was viciousness, abuse of the Internet, people setting someone up and destroying lives. Now the process is being repeated.

The search engines are suddenly flooded with this story. It impacts everyone who reads it. Many of us (myself included) have rushed to judgment about the other family. It’s understandable- it’s part of the beauty of the Internet. We receive information, we share it. We talk, discuss, rant and wail.

When a community experiences a tragedy like this one, it bands together. Those who know the perpetrators personally, and those who live in the same town with them, will exact their own form of justice. Believe me, this family is suffering.

The 21st century twist on this is that Internet makes our community seem smaller. Suddenly, strangers who have nothing to do with this, who don’t live in this town, are taking it upon themselves to mete out punishment, calling the family and harassing people they have dealings with. Are they trying to help the Meiers? Are they trying to help Megan? Somehow, I doubt that this is what she’d want.

I’m worried about the ultimate outcome of it all. So many people seem to want to take things into their own hands. Outrage and tears are understandable. A witch hunt isn’t. This story has generated so much ugliness.

It seems that this anger and helplessness we feel could be used for doing something positive here– contacting lawmakers, writing editors, sending letters of support for the Meiers, working toward keeping our kids safe, and making sure this doesn’t happen to another child.

Here’s a very poignant comment I received on my original post. It’s from a father who also lost a child:

Yes, it really is hard to turn away from this traumatic event, but it is also a mistake to come away from it with vengeance in the heart. It is misplaced anger. Yes those kids and parents were cruel, and I’ll bet that they are or soon will feel the guilt over it, and if not then phooey on them. Mercy unto Megan’s and her family’s souls. This sadness is too much to bear. Shed tears of sorrow and not rage.

Traumatic events like this create a vortex, like a tornado of emotion and hearsay which has a gravitational effect on everyone. The internet’s piece of this event is something to think about too. “Social networking” sites like MySpace are a new phenomenon, another variant of the disembodied voice. To publish on the internet is instant access, literally, to the whole world. It’s wonderful, and can have an evil twist too. Ponder on this.

I’ve pondered.

Sorry for this rant, or whatever this is. I have such mixed emotions about it all. Ultimately, I’m just very saddened by this whole thing.

For now, I’m closing comments on the earlier post, and on this one.