Which Part of “Quit Sticking Pointy Things into Your Face” Do You Not Understand?

August 30, 2007 at 1:17 pm (Body Art, Parenthood, Quotes, Random, Various and Sundry, humor) (daughters, Monroe, piercings, tattoos, Thomas Mann)

monroe So, my beautiful, kooky daughter called me the other night, and the conversation eventually turned to her favorite subject– self-mutilation. Well, not exactly self-mutilation, but more along the lines of which part of her body she now wants to tattoo, pierce, coif, remodel, etc. She’s off the mother-daughter tattoo thing for now, and thankfully, she replaced the pointy black studs in her nostrils with some tiny, demure ones. But soon, her voice took on the whiny, tiny, “you know I’m irresistible and I want something” tone.

“Moooooooommy?” Uh oh. “What are you getting me for my birthday?” It’s coming up in nine days, and she’ll be seventeen. I asked her what she wanted, and she said that she really didn’t need any more “stuff.” This translates into “I want money.” As it turns out, she wants money to purchase a monroe.

“Oh, Mommy, they’re so pretty, and I just want a little, tiny opal– nothing harsh or drastic, just a small one.” Oh… one of those “classy” face studs.

A monroe, for all of you parents who have normal, unpierced children, is a face piercing that is supposed to respresent the glamorous beauty mark that Marilyn Monroe had. I’m marilyn of two minds when my kid tells me stuff like this. The first is something along the lines of, “Oh my God, your beautiful face, why do you want to detract from it, you’re so lovely and your skin is so great, and you’re extremely tiny and it makes you look very odd and everyone stares and then you get haughty and say, ‘what were they looking at?’, and you know in ten years you’re going to have a face full of scars, and don’t you think you may have too much free time on your hands, and, and, and…” The other part of me says, “Well, at least it’s not a tattoo. Piercings can be taken out.” Okay, reading back, I realize that I’m not of two minds about it, I’m of about twenty.

Last night, Tom and I saw this beautiful young girl who had a monroe. I pointed out to him that that’s what my daughter wants. I asked the girl about hers and she scowled. “I hate it. It hurt SOOO much and I almost fainted. It bled and swelled for days.” She said it still swells from time to time, and it still hurts. Had she had it to do over, she said, “No way.”

Thomas Mann said, “Beauty can pierce one like a pain.” In this case, the girl we spoke to was expressing something more like “Piercing for beauty is like, a pain.”

I can’t wait to relay this information to my daughter. In the meantime, after carefully considering her birthday request, the most intelligent and thoughtful answer I could come up with was: “Go ask your dad.”

97 Comments

Brian said,

August 30, 2007 at 4:11 pm

I think about these much like you do. I’ve had both of my ears pierced twice, but never wear earrings. I’m glad I never went for anything more permanent, cause Lord knows what I’d be stuck with.

You had the perfect answer, I think!
moonbeammcqueen said,

August 31, 2007 at 9:19 am

Brian, I really think some piercings look really nice– a tiny stud in the right kind of nose looks great, and multiple pierced ears are fine. My daughter just seems to want her face to look like a display rack at a jewelry store. She’s had her ears gauged, both nostrils pierced, her lip pierced (although she grew that back), and now she wants the monroe. Soon, you won’t be able to see her skin! What you want at sixteen or seventeen isn’t what you want at thirty, but it really is okay with me, sort of.

Tattoos are a different story. I have a stepdaughter with a LOT of tattoos that she got when she was in her late teens and early twenties. She was a punk rocker artist gal. Now she’s in her thirties, and is a grad student going for her Ph.D. She’s dating this very buttoned-down computer geek guy. I wonder if she has any regrets.

My ex-husband has a tattoo of a spider which looks more like a squid, because he had it done in the sixties, and the tattoo artist was under the influence of something when he rendered it. I just want my daughter to be old enough to make a mature decision before getting inked!
stacey said,

October 27, 2007 at 10:43 pm

I hate big chunky piercings but taste full small piercings can be quiet nice and monroe isnt as bad as your lip or some of the other fereal ones. Im 18 years old and i myself have had an asortment of piercing from my ears to belly button to my nose i had to get the belly button taken out cause it got infected and the nose for work…..But they are all experiences and things you do when you are younger to try out and eventually if you dont like them you take them out…But parents need to learn that even though its hard letting there kids get a piercing it isnt so bad because its a learning cerve for them. They need to learn for themselves and make there own mistakes parents now what its like to make mistakes and regret things but thats what has turned them into the people they are today and you may advise your children of the things you have been through but really they need to make there own mistakes and regret things so they can learn from them its called life experiences so dont be tough on them give them rules and guidelines but also allow them to live and learn!!

Hi Stacey. I agree about the piercings, and I really don’t have a big problem with it (except for the gigantic holes– you can’t really undo those). My daughter’s had some of the same piercing experiences that you have (infected lip, etc.), but as you said, she needs to learn for herself.
andreana said,

November 11, 2007 at 1:49 am

i am not a mother, or legally an adult, so i can understand your child(ren) in that sense. sometimes we do want to express ourselves through means that are more permanent and usually extreme. i understand it might come with regret and may not be fully thought out. but i can offer a few solutions to things mentioned in your blog.

first, getting a piercing does not mean a scar or hole will be in your face forever. there are creams especially for piercings that heal the hole completely to where no scar is present. so no more worry for scars.

second, the woman who described her monroe made me curious. i know ten people who have had theres done. this one woman you spoke to must not have had high tolerance for pain, because i know for a fact that the monroe is one of the least painful piercings a person can get. the bleeding and soreness and swelling is not the same in all cases. it sounds as if hers was done wrong and she didnt take care of it. bleeding means they couldve hit a vein or she played with it too much, soreness can also mean they did it wrong and usually leads to infection in most cases, and swelling depends on how sensitive your skin is.

overall, i have two lip piercings and plans for tattooing myself and i am not in any way promoting people to get them. as long as the decision is thoughtfully made, i have no problem with others getting a piercing or tattoo. the whole “destroying beauty” issue is a personal preference and wholly opinion. i think that piercings and tattoos do not take from beauty, but rather enhance it if they hold meaning. it is one of the highest forms of self expression and creativity.
moonbeammcqueen said,

November 11, 2007 at 12:33 pm

@ andreana: Wow. Beautifully stated. You made me feel better about the effects of piercings. I don’t know if my daughter is still planning to get a monroe, but if she does, I’m really okay with it. Tattoos are a different story, and I have a harder time seeing it. Not because they’re not beautiful–many of them are. It’s an art form, plain and simple. But I think of it as a huge decision, and not something to do when you’re a teen and feeling somewhat nihilistic about the world. Does that make sense?
andreana said,

November 11, 2007 at 3:52 pm

im glad i could help a little, and i completely understand about the tattoo thing. it makes prefect sense. teens probably shouldnt be getting them because honestly we regret a lot of what we do. i’m sure with your views being so logical your daughter will be very logical about it too.
Brittany said,

November 18, 2007 at 4:26 pm

I think it’s important to understand that there is a definite generation gap when it comes to the perception of piercings/tattoos/body art. I am 21, and my parents refer to my tattoos as self-mutilation whereas I refer to them as works of art. It’s all about perception. I think it’s hard to find any 20 something these days who doesn’t have a tattoo. I find them extremely appealing, if done tastefully. I must admit I’m not a big fan of facial piercings, but I don’t think it detracts at all from a person’s beauty. It you’re pretty, you’re pretty. I don’t think a tiny stud in the side of your face “ruins” your appearance. I think, mom, what you need to do is accept that it’s your daughter’s body and, though you might not like her body art, she does. She’s expressing her individuality, and, honestly, if ten years from now she hates those tattoos or those piercings you can say “I told you so,” and she’s the one who will have to deal with the annoyance of removing them.
moonbeammcqueen said,

November 18, 2007 at 6:51 pm

@ Brittany: Well said. If you read some of the comments on this post, you’ll see that I agree. Thanks for adding your views!
Jessica said,

November 19, 2007 at 3:53 am

I’m 20. I just had my Monroe done six hours ago. I came across this whilst I was looking for an article on the dangers of a monroe. I’ve done extensive research on piercings. I’ve already had three, two of which have long since healed up. However, even with all the knowledge I do indeed have.. I’m sitting here now with a lot of pain on the left side of my face. Almost feels like my piercer hit a nerve. A girl in the comments posted about how this was one of the least painful piercings.. that’s not quite true. While everybody has a different tolerance for pain and studies have shown that one side of the face is more prone to pain than the other, I must say.. this is the most painful piercing I have had to date. Let it be known that I gave birth to my daughter just over a year ago without any pain medication whatsoever and made it through fairly easily.. so, I know how to manage my pain.

Don’t get me wrong.. it’s a beautiful, very feminine, cute piercing. I’m often told that I should model and I believe it’s actually added something to the look of my face. Even my mother, who often rues the fact that I’ve pierced my face, has complimented me today on how cute it looks. Is it worth the pain? Surely. Does your daughter need to put more thought into it, do a lot of reading about the risks and find a notable piercer? Definitely. Unlike my septum, tongue and labret.. my monroe has gone through a lot of thick skin. It’s a lengthy piercing process. Most piercings have the needle go through almost instantaneously.. this took about five seconds. No piercing should be gone into without knowing as much as you can, because you never know what will happen with YOUR piercing. They take a lot of upkeep too, double such with a monroe since it’s a facial and oral piercing. Make sure she takes good care of it! It’s better that she consults you about it anyway, since you can make sure she understands the process and also so that she doesn’t decide to bypass you and do it on her own. Many kids do their own piercings these days and it is HIGHLY dangerous.

My mother was very hesitant when I got my vertical labret. After it happened, she got used to it and eventually stopped noticing my wearing it, only noticed on the days in which I took it out. Are they preferable to a tattoo when your child is young? No doubt. I have young friends who rushed into a tattoo about a band or something similar and hated it years later, but piercings can be removed and the scars will fade soon thereafter. If you’re convinced in that she understands what she’s doing and that nerve damage can occur from this kind of piercing, alongside unsightly keloids and serious infections, then go ahead and let her have her fun. In a few years, she’ll be sick of it like I got sick of my tongue and septum piercing.
moonbeammcqueen said,

November 19, 2007 at 11:23 am

@ Jessica: Thanks so much for your wonderful comments. I agree with you that piercings and tattoos can be really beautiful, and that the benefit of piercings vs. tattoos is that you can remove them if you change your mind. My post (which is meant to be humorous) has a lot to do with the fact that my daughter changes her mind on all of this about every fifteen seconds (although she’s calmed down about it for now). I don’t have much of a problem with it, for the reasons that you’ve said. My daughter has two nose piercings and her ears are gaged, and it actually looks nice. I’ll pass along your piercing experiences to her. I like giving her as much information as possible.

As for the do-it-yourself piercings: ugh. It seldom seems to go well. My daughter had her lip pierced by a friend, and had to take it out almost immediately due to infection. It was a great lesson learned for her.

Thanks again for your comments, Jessica!
Marissa said,

November 25, 2007 at 2:28 am

Let me tell you about my monroe experience.

I decided to get my monroe done on a whim. My friend and I were shopping and I was admiring her monroe while she admired my nostril piercing. We decided to go on an adventure and get pierced.

My piercer was very professional. She made sure both the inside and outside of my mouth was as clean as possible. She marked the site and let me approve it. Then she clamped my lip, had me do deep breathing to help me relax, and pierced from the inside out to prevent the needle from stabbing my gums.

Did it hurt? A little. I mean, about as much as getting a needle shoved through your body will hurt. I rank it on my piercing pain scale as a 4… 1 being my septum, which i didn’t feel at all… and 10 being my industrial… which required copious amount of ibuprofen and sea salt soaks to feel better….

But the monroe only hurt for the duration of the piercing process. Afterwards, yeah, my lip was a little fat and tender to the touch, but no worse than having a little bruise.

I’ve had it for over six months now. After about a week, all the swelling went down and it feels normal. I can yank on it and not feel anything. It’s just… a part of me.

There are risks, though. If not properly placed it can touch your teeth and eventually wear away the enamel (easy to avoid if you have a good piercer). You could also have gum recession… statistics show that something like 41% of people with any sort of lip piercing (vertical labret excluded) have some gum recession, but only 4% have serious issues relating to that.

I check my piercing site periodically to make sure that nothing funny is going on with my gums. The second that I notice any wear, I’ll take it out. I also let my dentist check the area during semi-annual visits. Last time I was in, they said everything looked okay and that as long as I keep my eye on it, I shouldn’t have any serious issues.

So. As far as piercings go… it’s really no more risky than others. Just make sure you do the following:

1. Find a reputable piercer with a lot of experience
2. Make sure the studio where the piercing is happening is clean
3. Make sure that everything is sterile and ask about their needle policy. You want to go to a place that has single-use needles and jewelry and autoclaves everything before use.
4. Make sure that the jewelry used does not contain cheap metals, like nickel, which can cause a skin allergy to develop (skin allergies = not fun, leads to swelling and infection)
5. Make sure the piercing is placed properly… when the piercer does the mark, try to determine whether or not the jewelry will hit the teeth. Remember jewelry that hits teeth = destruction of enamel
6. Follow proper aftercare procedures. Not only will your daughter have to clean the outside of the site with warm sea salt, she’ll have to use a plaque-fighting mouthwash after every meal (plaque buildup on jewelry is gross)
7. The piercer should place a bar that is a little too long initially to accomodate for swelling. Downsize after about a month.
cantueso said,

November 25, 2007 at 1:37 pm

Luckily I am short-sighted, and so I cannot see these things in people’s faces, but I have heard about them.

I don’t wear my glasses, because if I leave them in the cupboard, I will always find them when I need them, which is at some future moment I N S T A N T L Y .

Also, if you don’t wear any glasses, most people look young and happy and never wear pins in their noses.
moonbeammcqueen said,

November 25, 2007 at 8:05 pm

@ Marissa: Thank you! I will definitely send this to my daughter. I was wondering about the effects of this on the teeth and gums– my daughter said it’s not an issue with monroes, so I’m sure she’ll be glad to know this. I’m glad your piercing went so well– you sound like you really know what you’re doing.

@ Cantueso: The world often does look more beautiful when it’s nice and fuzzy and blurred! The facial piercings and tattoos are actually sometimes pretty– that’s the magic of being young– chances are, even if you drive a stake through your forehead, you’re still going to look lovely.
Kamber said,

December 1, 2007 at 3:41 pm

Hi,
I am 19 and I have a monroe piercing. I actually did it myself; bad idea i know but, I don’t like people touching me or coming at me with sharp objects even if it’s my choice.
My monroe is the only piercing I have and I really haven’t had any complications with it. I didn’t even feel it when I was doing it (i did it slow)! I didn’t even know the needle had went into the skin until i felt something stabbing my gums! It’s not a painful piercing by any means (and i’m a big baby). I know there is a vein that I had ran into closer to the surface of the inside of my mouth, the girl you speak of that complained might have something rubbing that vein or it could have went through that vein.

If you take care of the piercing by cleaning it it should be just fine. I take the jewery out clean it with alcohol and put it back in after washing my mouth with YELLOW plain listerene (don’t use any other kind) and clean the surface with alcohol and a qtip. At first you have to rinse your mouth everytime you eat or drink anything and you have to be weary of what goes in your mouth such as bread or bear because you can easily get a yeast infection in the piercing.

metal jewelry (the part that goes through the skin; not the stud) is better to use because it doesn’t hold germs like plastic. I know that at first I had a plastic and it wasn’t bad but, it wasn’t healing very well then, after I changed to a metal bar it hasn’t gotten any kind of crust around it, it doesn’t have the least bit of liquid or gooey type stuff in it. it’s perfectly fine.

you can still wear makeup with it, just go around the area don’t go on top of it because the makeup will get down in there and it could cause an infection of delay in the healing.

I have to say a monroe really isn’t that bad, it’s easy to take care of, and it’s easy to hide if you’re like me and work in an office. Take it from me the girl who always wears makeup, is a big baby when it comes to pain, and is forgetful(i even remembered to clean it, probably more than neccessary).
If you’re daughter gets her monroe done, i wouldn’t worry about it. It’s really no big deal. I promise.

-kamber
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 1, 2007 at 4:05 pm

@ kamber: I can’t believe you did it yourself– ouch! Thanks so much for commenting here. I’m going to add your message to the information I’ve been passing on to my daughter from my readers. I’ll bet your monroe looks great- it sounds like you’re really happy with it.
Sara said,

December 3, 2007 at 6:36 am

Im a16 year old girl with piercings Nose, lip and tongue.. i want a monroe, me and ur daughter should talk, she seems cool
Jessica said,

December 6, 2007 at 2:09 am

Hi i’m 17 and already have 11 piercings and one tattoo my piercings consist of my monroe,nose, two belly buttons, tragus and three earings in each side my tattoo which is on my left lower stomach is of this script writing say “stay true” with 5 stars representing family members even tho i’m of age to do anything with my body and my mom feels i can make the right decision i still run it by her before i come home with a new tattoo or another piercing the piercing addiction started with my nose since i couldnt get a monroe and then i got my belly button and then some how i convinced my mother to let me get a monroe cause she didnt want my tongue pierced because its slutty and she knows its used for sex and i think its kinda slutty too…but now that i have it done she cant image my face without it she thinks it adds to my beauty when i first mentioned it to her the exact words came out of her mouth as yours to your daughter saying ohhh why would you want to ruin your beautiful face you have great skin blah blah but i dont like when ppl have HUGE chunky ugly studs in there face its gross i only have a little jem no ball its just the little diamond and my mom loves it i’ve now have had my monroe for a year and a half and my feelings have not changed about getting it i dont regret it one bit and i would never do something to my body that i would regret i always think about when im 30 which i’ve learned from my mother
i’ve kept all my piercings small and simple although it sounds like a lot having 11 but really their all spread out and can hardly notice i have that many. im very lucky that it looks good on me i’ve had randoms walk up to me and say your the first person ive seen with a monroe that suits it and im glad people say that or say my friends have it have it loks gross and yours looks great i can see me having this piercing for a long time i absolutly love it and would do it over again 100 times
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 6, 2007 at 10:31 am

@ Sara: She is cool! At least I think so. But I’m her mother, so what do I know??!

@ Jessica: Thanks for writing. It’s nice to know that you have no regrets, and that your mom loves your piercings as much as you do. What did she think about the tattoo? It’s such a symbol for your family, but it’s so permanent! Also, pardon my ignorance, but what’s a tragus?

I love all of these comments– I’m learning so much!
Emily said,

December 7, 2007 at 10:38 am

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tragus_piercing

hope that helps, haha :]

im trying to convince my mom to let me get my monroe done..
its not working too well :[

all i have is my conch [idk how to explain it right..sorta like the 'bowl' of your ear?]
and my left nostril.
maybe she will let me get it for my 16th birthday, haha
the only problem is my job.
i work at quiznos, and my boss doesnt want me having piercings, even my nose..
so i wear a clear retainer to work.

but i was thinking
when i turn 16, maybe i can go to work at hot topic or something :]
i know they wouldnt disapprove of my piercings!

you seem like a cool mom, btw :]
Emily said,

December 7, 2007 at 10:39 am

ah, sorry.

clear retainer in my nose, that is.
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 7, 2007 at 2:43 pm

@ Emily: Conches and traguses– I’m really getting educated here– thank you!!!! As for Quiznos, you know, everyone’s slowly loosening up about tattoos and piercings. I’ll bet that in a few years, they won’t make people wear the clear retainers. Thanks for the nice comments– your mom sounds cool too!
Shayla said,

December 11, 2007 at 11:28 pm

whoever said that a Monroe hurt obviously cannot tolerate any amount of pain. I worked as an apprentice at a tattoo and body piercing shop and I can assure you that Monroe is merely a 30 on the pain scale from 1 to 100. I also have mine done, along with various other piercings and that was on of the least painful. My naval hurt MUCH MUCH worse than that, and stayed infected for much longer.

True as it is, the piercing area will swell, but goes down within a day or so, if the correct jewelry was used at the time of the piercing.

Remember piercings can always be removed
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 11, 2007 at 11:42 pm

@ Shayla: Thank you! I spoke to my daughter about this tonight, and she’s having her monroe done at the end of January. I’m passing all of this information along to her. Oh, and now she’s added a new piercing to her wish list– her belly button! So, I’ll let her know what you said about that too. Thanks for your comment!
Jessica said,

December 13, 2007 at 5:57 pm

My mom loves my tattoo, she nos i wont ever regret it because it also a tattoo for my family, my mom loves tattoos and has two already we were going to get a matching one when we went on our vaction together to oregon but the age there even with a parents okay is 18,( my mom still got her tattoo and its for me and my borther my brother is a amazing hockey goalie for a Jr team and i play center in lacrosse for a Jr womens team anyways the tattoo is of a goalie stick and lacrosse stick crossing like a X and in a banner on the hockey side it has my brothers initials TRM and on the lacrosse stick mine JAM) my tattoo also in a place where it can only be seen when wearing a bathing suit, although its permanent, it’s also beauitful they guy did a great job and new exactly how i wanted it ill even send a photo.
[IMG]C:\Documents and Settings\HP_Owner\My Documents\My Pictures\Tattoo June,12,07[/IMG]
( i dunno if that worked or not, but this photo was taken right after it was done soo its a little red around the stars)
its hard to explain where the tragus is located but ill try my best its on your ears its in the middle of your ear lobe and your top helix (cartilage) may sound odd but its cute i like to call my tragus a noobin cause its just like a little ball of cartilage
Jessica said,

December 13, 2007 at 6:00 pm

file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/HP_Owner/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/Tattoo%20June,12,07/n534715337_769581_1486.jpg
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 14, 2007 at 12:05 am

Thanks Jessica! Wow, your mom is much cooler than I am. I’m getting there with the piercings, but I want her to wait on her tattoos. Once she turns 18 (or 21 or whatever the age is), she can look like a box of crayons if she wants!

I’d love to see your pictures, but the link doesn’t work. If you email them to me, I’ll post them here. I’m at ya hoo. I don’t want to write it out, because the spammers will get me, but the entire address is in on my sidebar. Thanks for writing!
Debra said,

December 15, 2007 at 8:53 am

Hi
In the words of the song

Adam Harvey – Beauty’s In The Eye (Of The Beer Holder)

Man she’s all tatooed,
She’s wearin’ army boots,
A mini skirt and some knee high socks,
She’s got nose rings,
And other pierced things,
Looks like she fell in a tackle box,
He said she looks just right,
Beyond the natural light,
It makes her look like a centerfolder,
I guess beauty’s in the eye of the beer holder,

Offer her a tackle box and see if she likes anything in it
Luv Deb
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 15, 2007 at 10:00 am

@ Debra: Hilarious!!!!!!! Thanks for the laugh!
Jessica said,

December 16, 2007 at 12:22 am

I’ve really enjoyed reading all these posts…
I’m 18 and I got a monroe piercing this summer. At the time I was only 17 and needed parent’s permission so I went on the quest to get the “O.K.” from mom and dad. My parents are both conservative Lutherans who sent me to private boarding schools my whole life so I knew this was going to be a big deal.
It ended up not being hard to convince them whatsoever. I showed them pictures (of tasteful, cute monroes) and promised I would never have a big hot pink ball or anything, just simple diamond or pearl studs. I also told my mom that if she didn’t let me when I was 17, then I would just wait til I was 18 and go do it with friends while I was away at college, but if she let me now, then we could go together and make it a mother-daughter thing and she could be a part of it.
I’ve had my monroe for only about 6 months now and I LOVE it. All of my friends say it suits me so well. It’s my first, last, and only facial piercing…My mom absolutely loves it and says not only does she “tolerate”, she thinks it’s fantastic.
Jessica said,

December 16, 2007 at 12:23 am

(Oh, and I’m not the Jessica who’s been posting about the tattoo and such—two different people…You can just call me Jessica2)
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 16, 2007 at 2:49 am

@ Jessica 2: Actually, I think you may be Jessica3 on here! Anyway, welcome, and thanks for telling me about your experience. You did a great job of laying all of your information and your side of things to your parents. And they sound like they listened to you and felt as though what you were saying made sense. I love this kind of stuff! Anyway, I think that my daughter’s monroe will be just fine. I’m getting used to the idea that she really likes piercings as a form of self-expression. And really, her two nose piercings look really pretty. What would your parents say about navel piercing? That’s what my daughter’s wanting next.
Bethany said,

December 16, 2007 at 6:17 am

Heyy
wow monroes are reli pretty.
im 14 and have my belly button pierced. i love it
its super.
and it doesnt hurt at all. just while its goin through and then u feel light headed for 5 seconds and then u just need to drink some coke or something and ur fine. it only hurts if u catch it on tables. tho i am frequently doing that for some reason at the moment. must be because of christmas. but it looks cool
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 16, 2007 at 2:40 pm

@ Bethany: Hi. I’m getting used to the idea of monroes, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to belly button piercings. I’ve known so many people who’ve caught theirs on things, yanked them out, etc. Anything that has to do with lots of bleeding and infections makes me squeamish! But I’m glad you like yours.
Jess said,

December 21, 2007 at 10:47 am

I’m 23, and I had my monroe pierced over a year ago.
It healed within a couple of months, and it has never given me a problem.
Piercings and their healing time are is as individual as the person who receives them.
Karla said,

December 26, 2007 at 1:32 am

Hi!
I just got my monroe piercing and i wanna know how do i clean it. With what?
Can you please help me.Thanks
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 26, 2007 at 1:56 am

@ Jess: Thanks– I’m hoping my daughter will be one of those fast, painless healers!

@ Karla: Here’s a link to after care instructions:

http://www.tribalectic.com/MonroeJewelryAftercare.asp

Hope it helps!
MidsummerSilence said,

December 27, 2007 at 12:07 pm

Hello! I thought that I might as well throw my two cents in here. I am 24 years old. Now that I got that out of the way… I am in love with monroe piercings. Granted, not everyone has a face suited for one.

I got my monroe piercing in July. LOVED it, it’s absolutely gorgeous. It didn’t hurt AT ALL, and I only noticed a drop or two of blood. I got a 16gauge with a tiny 1.7mm CZ stud. I am an administrative assistant in a corporate office building. The VPs, SVP, and managers I support all liked it and said that it looked natural on me. HOWEVER, my second job, as a cashier, did not approve. SO, i put in a retainer after having it pierced for a week. That is a BIG no-no. I accidentally poked it wrong and irritated the interior of my lip. After working my weekend job, I went to take the retainer out. OMG, to my surprise, the retainer was TOO short, and pulled inside my lip. The outer part was fine, but the inside of my lip grew over the back of the post. NOT fun to dig that out. Once it was dug out, and i regained composure, I decided to let it heal over.

NOW, it’s December, almost a half year later, and I miss the piercing terribly. Four days ago, I went and got it pierced again. HOLY HELL that hurt. I guess pushing through the scar tissue is what added the pain this time around. Now, he went to get the gem to screw in, and meanwhile, the post fell back into my mouth. He grabbed the clamps and pierced AGAIN, right below the previous hole. I teared SO bad from my right eye, it was streaming down my cheek. Then I felt blood dripping from the second hole. The pain was awful. After it was over and cleaned up, I looked in the mirror, a little upset, as the piercing was lower than i wanted it, and it seemed like it would bother my teeth. Over the last couple days, I have felt it clack on my teeth on occasion, which really worried me. I was at the point of taking it out, and waiting a couple months to get it placed where I wanted it – AGAIN. But no – i’m stubborn and refused, after all the pain i went through, to take it out. SO, last night, as I was eating some ice cream, my son decides to run off with my laptop, as I went to yell at him, the post caught on my tooth… panicking i tried to keep my mouth still, so i could get my finger on the jewelry, to somehow reposition it so it wouldn’t hurt. By the time I did this (it seemed like an eternity, but must have only been a few nanoseconds), i felt a *clink* on my lower teeth, and spat out my jewelry. The ENTIRE pierce of jewelry pulled through my lip – yes, the post WITH the GEM still attached and screwed into the end. OMG it hurt. Of course it started bleeding and oozing pus. It hurt this morning so i scratched the scab off and cleaned out some more pus.

I guess the moral of this story is – make SURE that your piercer uses QUALITY internal threaded jewelry (mine seemed cheap, as it didn’t screw in all the way) and that it’s pierced high enough, so that it doesn’t get caught on your teeth and ruin your enamel, or as happened to me, get pulled right through your lip.

I hope this helps and take care.

-kris
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 27, 2007 at 1:36 pm

@ kris: Oh my God– this made me want to pass out! You poor thing. In reading some of these posts, I’ve learned that you have to be really careful of how and where you get your monroe. And by where I don’t mean just the shop you go to, but where they put that piercing (I keep telling my daughter to make sure they stay away from veins and teeth).

Are you going to get it redone? Will this leave a scar? I hope you’re not hurting too badly.
MidsummerSilence said,

December 27, 2007 at 2:33 pm

i doubt it will leave a visible scar, my very first hole didn’t. now i have two more holes that i am waiting to heal up.

honestly – yes, the odds are good that i will get it done again. i am going to a different shop this time, though, and bringing my OWN jewelry. I think the fact that there was a HAIR of space between the gem and the post, irritated the hole and caused it to stretch every time i ate, talked, or smiled (which i do a lot). i have gotten SO many compliments on it, it’s ridiculous, and i really feel that it suits me well.

i wish your daughter (and you) luck. to me – this piercing is TOTALLY worth it. I also recently got my rook pierced and love it as well – but NOTHING like my monroe.
lethaleuphoria said,

December 27, 2007 at 10:06 pm

……it’s kris (midsummersilence)..l just wanted you to have my user name if you/your daughter have questions!
moonbeammcqueen said,

December 27, 2007 at 10:32 pm

@ kris: It’s so funny– right after you commented, my daughter called me. I passed along what you said. She’s having this done soon, and was very appreciative of your warnings (as well as what others have passed along here). Thank you so much!

She also told me that she was going to get a tattoo today. I’m flipping out a little. I’m waiting to hear back from her to see how it went.

By the way– what’s a rook?
lethaleuphoria said,

December 31, 2007 at 10:41 am

here’s a diagram of the ear and the names of all the places where piercings are “commonly” placed.

http://www.ilovetattoosandpiercings.com/types-of-ear-piercings.html

although i have a curved barbell through mine… it’s more common to get it pierced with a CBR (captive bead ring), as illustrated.

sorry for such a late response!
morgN said,

January 2, 2008 at 6:17 pm

hey
my mom is soo uptight and I really want a monroe
i think it will look great on me
there’s no way she’ll let me get it done though
what’s the best way to ask her
moonbeammcqueen said,

January 2, 2008 at 7:20 pm

@ lethaleuphoria: Thank you so much! I never knew there were so many pierce-able places on an ear! I am really getting quite an education here. Thank you soooo much!

@ morgN: I’m not sure how to get your mom to okay it. How old are you? How mature are you? I guess I’d gather as much information, and as many pretty pictures of monroes as you can, and show it all to her. Also, read the aftercare instructions on comment #36, and let her know that you really know how to take care of it.

Jessica’s comment (#29) tells how she convinced her parents to let her get one.

Hope that this helps– let me know how it goes!
Ψ*Ψ said,

January 3, 2008 at 3:32 am

Since the discussion appears to be ongoing, I guess I’ll comment as well. You sound very open-minded, and your daughter is pretty lucky to have a mother she can probably be honest with. You’re lucky she isn’t going for anything crazier. (If she ever tells you a nipple piercing doesn’t hurt…set her straight on that one. Worst pain EVER.)
moonbeammcqueen said,

January 3, 2008 at 12:55 pm

@ cool symbol person: Actually, I think I’m lucky to have such a wonderful daughter, although she’s turning my hair gray. She just got her first tattoo, and it freaked me out.

It’s funny that you mentioned nipples piercing. Yesterday, I posted a photo of her tattoo, and in the comments, we started discussing nipple piercings. The guy who was talking about his said he didn’t hurt him, but that his friend almost passed out.
bloody-ballerina said,

January 6, 2008 at 4:40 pm

well firstly you clealy have no idea about those
`emo’ kids.
they constantly talk about suicide/ self mutilation and piercing and stuff.

quite frankly THEY are EVERYWHERE and annnoying.
and every 15 years old are like, trying to be `emo’
they have stupid dyed fringe and wear panic at the disco t-shirts’ (Crappy band EVER)

and your daughter probably is one of them.

Big assumption. Nope, she’s not emo. And she wouldn’t be caught dead in said t-shirt. No Hello Kitty stuff either.

and She probably saw one of her friends with monroe piercing and wanted one just like hers….

and same goes for tattoo.

Nope again. None of her friends have tattoos or monroes, although there are a couple with lip piercings. Of course, fashion often comes from seeing something you like on someone else, then making it your own. I have to say that my daughter is quite unique. She designs her own clothing (she’s about to start her own line), cuts her own hair, and it’s all often quite beautiful. She’s usually the one that other people copy.

btw,
Monroe piercing it self isnt bad.
its quite pretty actually. she’ll be fine, and as you said, it can be taken out.

but as for the tattoo, make sure to tell her
Pick the design that you can bear having in 40 years time.

TRUST ME! Taking Tattoos off HURTS 10 times more .

She already got the tattoo. I’ve written a couple of posts about it and posted a picture, under the “Body Art” category. After reading all of the great comments here, I’ve calmed down about the monroe. I agree with you– they are often quite pretty.
Melissa said,

January 14, 2008 at 1:33 am

im totally coming from out of nowhere here
but i just felt like adding :]
im 16, and have 8 piercings.
2 cartilage in my left ear
2 left ear regular
and 3 right ear regular
+ a belly button ring.
im hoping to get either my lip, eyebrow, monroe or tragus. [not all]
i think piercings are good casue they could show who you are and they are easy to take out/off.

tattoo’s–> i have none.
this monday i may be getting a tiny tiny tiny outline of a star on my hip though
ssh, dont tell mommy :]
my friend said it best.. Tattoo’s are amazing.
they are always tehre so a good way to look at it is
‘they show where you were in that point in time of your life’
i think thats a good wya to look at it.

alright byeeeee :]
moonbeammcqueen said,

January 14, 2008 at 3:28 pm

@ Melissa: Your piercings sound nice. Painful, but nice!

My daughter got a tattoo a couple of weeks ago. Here’s what it looks like:

http://moonbeammcqueen.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/that-brats-tat/
erely said,

January 27, 2008 at 3:56 pm

Haha, I’m 14 and i just got my monroe done like 5 days ago. Monroe piercings don’t hurt It’s only a little pinch but nothing like extreme pain.

I’ve had swelling too, swelling lasts for 1 day or 2, much of the pain depends on the placing too.

WOW. I’m glad that it didn’t hurt you much. I’ll bet it looks great.
faye said,

January 28, 2008 at 1:35 pm

OH MY GOD. this has just made me so angry. you people have not got a clue. I come from a fmaily pretty well educated about tattoo’s and peircings, my dad is a trained tattoist and peircer and has being in this business for 23 years. if a monroe is peirced properly, that problems the girl you spoke to about will not occur, if it is peirced and recives good aftercare it will heal well and swelling will not last long, and will not come back. a lot of you people need to be a lot more open minded. I’m 16, I have my ears peirced twice, my navel and my tounge. my mum isn’;t keen on me getting facial peircings at all, because she says the same stuff as you have, scars etc. but it’s our choice. WE ARE OLD ENOUGH AND SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS & MISTAKES! welcome to the twenty first century where us stupid kids, will get peircings and tattoo’s till our hearts content. BECAUSE IF IT’S WHAT WE WANT, THATS RHE WAY IT IS. each to their own. one last point, never ever try to use the ”what about in 30 years time….” because a high percentage of us will have done the same things when we were younger. THE END,.

Faye, calm down. There’s nothing in these posts that should make you angry, as far as I can see. Number one, the post was written as a humorous one. Number two, I love the comments I’ve gotten, because as you’ll notice, the people who’ve written here tend to be intelligent and nice, whether they agree with the sentiments here or not. I’ve learned a lot in reading them. Number three, it’s probably smart to proofread and to use Spellcheck before posting. It makes your points seem more valid when literacy is involved, especially when writing of your father’s profession, which would be “tattooist” and “piercer.”
shutupfaye said,

January 29, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Faye, the next time you decide to go on a rant, please make sure you use the spell check button and have someone check your grammar because you sound like a moron.

Mmmmm… I’m torn between removing this and keeping it here, because it makes me laugh. I think I’ll keep it.
liz said,

February 4, 2008 at 3:13 am

ok….where should i start. Well… im 18 years old and i had a monroe. i say had because i recently took my piercing off to let it close. i did it because i actually want to get a different piercing. it’s the same kind of thing as a monroe except it is on the bottom of your lip. right now i have a scar left from my monroe and i am debating whether i really want to get the other one. it’s not the money and it is definitely not the pain. (to be honest, it didn’t even hurt. it goes by so fast you have no time to react to it. i was scared before i got it, but when it happened, i was like “oh that’s it.” it never swelled up and it never bled. the girl that was interviewed must have been doing something to make it swell…) I had always asked my mom if I could get it and she always said no. but as it got closer to my 18th birthday, I started telling her that I was going to get it. the reason? It looked “cute”. and eventually did. It my birthday and i told my mom I was going to get my piercing. I came home and she didn’t say anything. The only thing she could say was “I can’t believe you got that hole in your face.” Eventually she got used to it and didn’t say much about it.
the reason i am debating whether i really want this other piercing is because right now i am studying to become a teacher. The hole closed already and I know that the tiny black mark left from my piercing will go away. The reason i am saying this is because i see both sides of this argument. yes, i’m a teen but I am thinking about my future as well. How are you going to look professional with a piercing on your face? That’s got to go. A tattoo or gauged ears? That’s permanent. i noticed that there will always be a phase in a young teen-whether it is a tattoo, a piercing, the way they dress, act, talk and express themselves. if parents are reading this, i’m sure you have gone through a phase in life as well. I guess the point i’m trying to make is that teens will always go through things like this. They are going to like something and want to do it, but after a while, it gets boring or they just loose interest in it. maybe they start thinking of their future rather than what looks cool. letting a child make their own choices is seeing them mature and it is the responsibility of a parent to guide them to those choices.
Oh and for faye…calm the fuck down bitch. First off, learn how to type. Second, you sound like ur not loved too much anger in you…im sorry you feel the way you do but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. “WE ARE OLD ENOUGH AND SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS & MISTAKES!” um… hold up. No the fuck your not. Your only 16. If you say your old enough then get a job and do grown up stuff like paying the bills.

Liz, what thoughtful comments. I try to look at both sides of the argument too, and it’s good that you’re having the argument within yourself, because it’s your body and your decision. I do think that piercings can look awfully nice, but what you’ve mentioned about employers is good to consider. And the phase thing you mentioned is true of my daughter. She got a tattoo, and it’s there forever. She’s changed her mind on piercings several times– where to get them, when to get them, what to keep, what to grow over, etc. And she’ll never be able to do that with the tattoo. And you’re right– as hard as it is to believe at sixteen, there are often so many changes that a person goes through as they age.

I think this ability to see all sides is going to make you an excellent teacher.
SurfaceEarth said,

February 4, 2008 at 9:47 am

Ouch. Don’t think I would’ve come up with a much different response!

LOL. My response doesn’t even matter– I think that asking is just a token thing.
tattoos [and piercings], need i say more? « lethal euphoria said,

February 15, 2008 at 4:00 pm

[...] will, that I had done was my monroe piercing. I’ve had discussions about this [and tattoos] here, with Moonbeam McQueen . This is my FAVORITE piercing. Unfortunately for me, it didn’t work out. Again, no pain, but [...]
Tegan said,

March 2, 2008 at 6:34 am

hello everyone

i think all piercings are fine as long as the person is happy with it. you can always take them out and (majority) of them heal perfectly or leave minimal scarrin.

i agree with you too that tattoos are a big big big BIG decision, as it’s there forever.

however if someone wants to get a tasteful tattoo (tasteful to them anyway) then so be it. i don’t think it matter how old you are there are thousands of things in our life we regret. but… instead of looking at it as a thing we regret we need to look at it posotively … it’s our past. our life.

i have a tiny tattoo on my wrist which means respect. just to remind me to always respect myself and others. and i have a tiny peace sign on my foot. both can very easily be covered. i either wear shoes… or i can wear a watch or a bracelet around my wrist. they r so small people rarely notice them and when they do i get a lot of questions about them. everybody i have ever spoken to about them has said they are nice as they r small and “tasteful” i have had them for five years and don’t regret them yet. and i never will. i know that. they are a part of me. a part of my opinions and my beliefs. i love them. just the same as i love the giant freckle on my chest, and my birth mark on my back. they make me, me!

however i personally don’t like the big tattoo sleeves and giant ones that are impossible to cover. my cousin got married a while ago and she has tattoo sleeves down her arms and huge tats all over her back… it just didn’t look nice with her beautiful dress. and she was so embarrassed. but her tattoos were horrible scary drawings that meant nothing to her, she just thought they were “cool” when she was 16.

anywho i am not a parent so i don’t know exactly how you feel but i can see how u would be worried.

oh and the best thing my parents ever did was support me 100% with my dreams and what i wanted to do… (when i was of legal adult age that is) and they always gave me their advice but they never ever stopped supporting me and they never said “i don’t think you should do that…” but they were (and still are!) always there for me.

good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

tegan

xxx
moonbeammcqueen said,

March 2, 2008 at 2:18 pm

@ tegan: I’m so glad you stopped by– what great comments! Your tattoos do sound tasteful and meaningful, and you were smart to put them in places where you could show them or not, depending on the situation.

My daughter did get her tattoo, and I lived through it! She’s already talking about the next one, so of course I’ll be gearing up for a new heart attack soon.

I read on someone’s site that they’re now selling kits for brides to be able to cover up their tattoos on their wedding day. I’ll bet they sell like crazy.

Your parents sound absolutely wonderful.
Shawnna said,

March 12, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Well I just thought I would comment on this post since I just got my monroe pierced! Well since I was 12 I have been a body modification enthusiast. At 12, I was in 8th grade, I asked my mom if I could get my nose pierced, of course hardly any mother would let their 12 year old get their nose pierced so I did what I thought was the next best thing, I did it myself. I got out a handy dandy thumb tack (I can’t believe I was so stupid!) and an earring (I didn’t even have proper jewelry!) and pierced my nose. Although I had the piercing for 2 weeks without any problem I decided to take it out so that I could avoid any complication.

Anyways about 2 years later I convinced my mom to let me get my belly button pierced. The process was very pain free I didn’t even feel the clamp (and still haven’t to this day with any of my piercings) like many people do and complain about. My body started rejecting my navel piercing and it was infected no matter how hard I tried to take care of it, it was so bad for about 6 months. After a year it was healed and the infections stopped immediately and 100%.

About a year after that I got my nose professionally done with my mothers consent and it looked great and it didn’t hurt at all! Unfortunately when you go to the mall and they have little stands where you can buy “high quality” inexpensive body jewelry and you get a nose stud for $5 it’s really poor quality and this led to a very painful experience of an infected piercing so I let it close.

Within the past year I have gotten my tragus, monroe, a nose (again) pierced as well as got my tattoo.

I wanted a tattoo at 16 but wanted a hello kitty (thank the lord I waited until I was 18! You know when your 16 you think something is just so great but really I am so happy I waited 2 years to make up my mind on my tattoo, I got angel wings tattooed at the top of my back in remembrance of my grandpa.

ANyways I think body modification is great and I love all of the choices I have made, its just sad that I see some 14 year olds running around with ear lobes the size of a dixe cup and they did it because it is “cool”, my niece is a victim of doing things too young and on a whim to have made an educated choice.

Well, good luck on everything!

Shawnna, I had written you a reply when I first read this, and I just realized that it didn’t show up. I loved your comments here, and loved reading your experiences. I can’t believe you pierced your nose with a thumbtack! Ack!

Very smart to wait on impulse decision tattoos. When you’re sixteen, I think it’s hard to imagine that someday you might be forty, and regretting that fad tattoo you got when you were younger. The one you decided on sounds much nicer and more meaningful than Hello Kitty.

I hope you’re really liking your monroe!
10 Things I’m Currently Worrying About « Moonbeam McQueen said,

March 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm

[...] I promised to take her and her friend to get pierced while they’re here. I don’t know what body parts they’re having drilled, and I [...]
Kayla said,

March 17, 2008 at 12:49 am

Hello there.
I was googling information on lip piercings when I came across this page. I thought I’d give my opinion on the matter. My opinion may be a bit biast, considering I myself am a teenager, and am usually pro-piercing and pro-tattoo.

1. Piercings can be an accent to a face, or it could be a face’s complete enemey. I’d suggest talking to your piercer about what they think would look good, and what wouldn’t, they are the pofessionals.

2. I think age is a big factor on if you should be allowed to have piercings or not, and maturity is a big thing as well. If you haven’t thought it out, and you haven’t talked to your parents about it in a mature matter, then I dont think you should be allowed to get a piercing. While I agree that it is your body and your choice, I also think that your parents should get a say in what happens to your body. Unless your an adult, you are still taken care of by your parents and if they say no go, then wait until you are an adult, and when you defentley know its something you want.

3. As long as your piercing is done by a professional, there should only be a very limited amount of pain and almost no blood what so ever, but that also depends from person to person. If you take good care of your piercing there should be no problems from it.

I hope this maybe cleared a few things up, or maybe helped a bit. I sometimes help my friend run his piercing/ tattoo shop. So if anyone needs any help or information, go ahead and email me.

Kayla– Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to this. I had company all last week, and had to step away from the blog.

Thanks so much for your comments. I’ve gotten such great information from people here. It’s been educational. Last week, I took my daughter to get her belly button pierced, and I was impressed, because she seemed really knowledgeable about what to ask and what to look for (example: that he took the needle out of a sealed package), and she took excellent care of it afterward.

All of the advice you gave is excellent.
Jenn said,

May 1, 2008 at 1:14 pm

i was thinking about getting my monroe done but i was wondering when you take it out is there always going to be a hole in the middle of your face?
Moonbeam McQueen said,

May 4, 2008 at 9:55 am

@ Jenn: Hi! I think that there would probably be a small hole, but as long as you take care of the piercing, I doubt that it would be too noticeable when you removed it. You may want to read the comments and click on some of the links people have provided here. Lots of good information!

Good luck!
sophi said,

May 27, 2008 at 9:03 pm

hey,
you sound like a pretty cool mum,
my own mum is ok when it comes to piercing (has 6 herself), so she doesn’t have a leg to stand on to say no lol,

on the other hand, my father is a snob, a dick. hates all body modifcation as it doesnt not fit the normal. i had my nose done when i lived at his. i kept it hidden for a month, but when found out, he when mad! i was grounded for a month, with no spending money.
this didnt deter me from piercings, it actually made me want them more and more determined to get them!

i started college and went to live with my mum, 1st thing i did was get my nose pierced! and them septum, ear nest, stretched ears to 16mm
but then i got a surface piercing, on my lower stomach, ah no
it got infected because it was done my a crap piercier Blue banana (never let your daughter go there) this was my own fautl because i didnt resecarch pierers in my area properly!
i really wanted my bridge done, and my mum seriously didnt, she went ‘i know i cant stop you but if we made a deal that if i give you £150, you never get it done while living under my roof” DEAL and i’m glad

so i got micro dermal piercing done

little studs and classic body jewelry is good
impulse piercing decisions are bad
and help make an informed choice

and when i’m 30? well i might die tomorrow, so i would like to croak it happy

Sophi, your mom sounds cool too. I’m glad you finally got the piercings you wanted done, and it sounds like you’ve been learning a lot along the way (like, going to a reputable piercer). I hope your dad becomes more accepting of your choices, and I love it that your mom paid you NOT to get your bridge done! LOL. Thanks for writing!
Anonymous said,

June 26, 2008 at 1:55 pm

i have my monroe done and i love it i think it is soooo beautiful piercings arent dangerous you just have to go to a professional but i had to work for my piercing im 15 and i have to get on the honor roll to get mine

What a great trade off– make the honor roll and get a piercing! If you keep this up, you could end up with all the piercings that you want, AND be able to go to any college that you choose!
Anonymous said,

July 11, 2008 at 4:05 pm

i want to get one of those,
i mean its just a little stud and i REALLY like emm
but my dad is ALL about my looks., i mean i started wearing eye liner and my dad was like, whats all that shit under your eyes,, but i love eyeliner ahah but i really want a stud for my birthdayy. i mean its my body and i should be able to do what i want with it….ya know? i mean like its just a little stud and if i dont like it, ill take it out,,,,,,,,, i really want one
Anonymous said,

July 17, 2008 at 12:30 am

i really like your story, it reminded me of what my mom is saying about me getting one. everyone is different with piercings. i know many people that had Monroe and they all said it felt like a pinch and thats it. but like i said everyone is different, if she really wants maybe take her to the place and get all the details from the professionals they can tell you what to expect. maybe that girl wasn’t cleaning hers right?
im getting mine done by nurses trained to do it, everything clean and they know what they are doing.

Outside of the Piercing: Use the prescribed cleansing techniques as listed above (numbers 1-5).

Inside the Mouth: For the first 3 weeks rinse with salt water or diluted alcohol-free mouthwash for 10 seconds after you place anything in your mouth other than water – this includes cigarettes.

(Salt water -1/2 tsp. sea salt per 1 cup of water).

(Mouthwash -1/4 cup to 3/4 cup of water).

Note Regarding Tongue Piercing: For protection of teeth, downsizing your barbell is strongly recommended. Playing with the piercing while healing causes excessive swelling and increases pain.
ashley said,

July 17, 2008 at 7:45 pm

ok well last night my cousin and her friends decided that we wanted to pierce something. Her friend ended up piercing his lip [we did them ourselves] and it looked good. And i helped my cousin pierce her monroe. She really wanted me to do it but i wasnt sure if i could but i helped her. We went really slowly trough it and we got it in. IT LOOKED GREAT! i wasnt so sure if i wanted mine done since we were doing them ourselves, but we did go out and buy all the sterilized equipment for it, hollow needles, posts and cleaning stuff. i thought i should ask a parent before i did it so i had a story to go along with.

so i called my mom this morning and i asked her
‘what would you think if i got my monroe pierced?’

i explained to her what a monroe was and she told me that she wasnt crazy on the fact that i was wanting another piercing since i have a little stud in my nose, [which i went to a piercing place to get done] and i have 15 piercings in my ears [also done by a liscensed piercer].

my mom didnt reallyl ike the fact that i wanted another one, but she made me promise that i wouldnt put some big old tacky huge bar in my lip, which i wouldnt and that i had to think about it more.

so i did and i really want one so tonight im getting it done,

but before i hung up i told my mom that i really respected her and her opinion and that i wanted her permission before i got it done.

if you really care about what your parents think dont give them an ultimatum, give them your respect and make them trust that you will make the right decision because sooner or later they will understand that you are the one that has to live with your decision, not them.
krissy said,

July 22, 2008 at 9:26 pm

people have told me that a monroe piercing will mess up ur gums and teeth. is that true?
Emmy said,

August 22, 2008 at 1:26 am

Heh. You sound like my mom.
I have my lip pierced, and plan to do more piercings.
I’m considering a monroe or angel bites (2 monroe’s)
My lip swelled for about a week and now it looks great (my opinion heh…my mom still gags everytime she looks at me to which I respond with my “I think I want my tongue pierced.”
I’ve heard Monroe’s aren’t too painful, but I guess its different for everyone.
The girl you spoke to probably didn’t take care of hers properly if she was still having problems with it.
lizzy said,

August 26, 2008 at 7:28 pm

damn, whatever girl had it done that you asked must’ve gone to the wrong piercer! mine barely hurt at all and only swelled a little bit [i ate tacos later that night] and it’s my favorite piercing! i agree with emmy, that girl obviously didn’t take care of it and/or did not go to the right person. my monroe was probably the least painful piercing i had aside from my lobe piercings.
lizzy said,

August 26, 2008 at 7:30 pm

oh, and krissy, that’s only if you get a stud that’s too long, it will rub against your gums. if you get one that’s the right size it won’t [of course, to get it initally pierced, it will need to be longer to accomodate from some swelling, but once the swelling goes down switch to the appropriate size and you'll be fine]
Katrina. said,

August 27, 2008 at 8:25 pm

I think that the monroe piercing is awesome!.
i got one about 4 months ago. and believe it or not, my mom was the one who wanted me to get it. i also have a tattoo. now you might be thinking..your mother is crazy for letting you do that. when really my mom isn’t all that crazy. she’s a teacher, and for 12 years she was a teacher at a catholic school. and if your wandering how old i am. i’m 14. with 11 piercings and a tattoo.

at first when i got my monroe, i thought, god i am sooo stupid for letting my mom talk me into this. but now i love it!. whenever i meet a new person they always ask..is that a peircing!?. it’s looks super amazing. in my opinion i think that the monroe is more natural than anything else, mainly because it’s resembeling marylin monroe’s mole.
so honestly. your girl is turning 17. i think you should let her go for it!.

like you said. it’s just a piercing. she can take it out and it’s just a scar that you can get rid of with some cream or something.
Jami said,

September 1, 2008 at 1:32 am

I agree that Piercings can be taken out, an I wish my father would had let me get Piercings instead of all the tattoos i got. I got my first one at the age of 14, it was a r.i.p for my grandfather, but after that i just what ever I thought was cute. Im 20 years old now, an I regret some of the ones I have gotten. I have recently just got two covered up cause I was dumb when I was 16 an got my ex-boyfriends name tattooed on me an my father said it was cool.. so 3 mths after we broke up I regretted every bit of it. so 4 years later i got them covered up, yet some of mine are tastefull tattoos nothing extreme an they all have a story behind them, But i just wish my dad would had seen my point i could always take the stud or the barbell out. By the age of 15 i got my tounge done, an just last mth i took it out. It wasnt as cracked up to be. I had my monroe done in feb. I had it for 4 days an the stud went all the way threw my lip, so make sure you know what your doing unlike Me I was doing all the wrong things and went to the wrong place. i have had my nosed periced 5 times…i would rather get a Piercing any day then put more ink on my body. Im 20 an i have 13 tattoos, not counting the 2 that got covered up an the one I had removed on my hand… So make sure you get something that you want not because of all of your friends have them. esp. tattoos, an yes the monroe does leave a scar on your face just like a nose Piercings it looks like a pimple scar. But when your parents says that it might not be a good Idea to get that periced, or to get that tattooed on your body. There just trying to help. if I would had listen to my mom, I would have less tattoos then i do Now.
Ashlee said,

September 17, 2008 at 2:51 am

This is such biased bullshit. “Normal, unpierced children” that’s kinda messed up to say. A Monroe, or any other lip piercing doesn’t hurt like the dickens, it won’t hurt after it’s healed and in most cases it won’t hurt after it’s done.
Ignacio said,

September 19, 2008 at 10:47 am

Ashlee, you’re so right!
Hey if your shit hurts & swells even days after, you’re going to the wring places!
Ignacio said,

September 19, 2008 at 10:48 am

wrong* lol
alejandra said,

October 2, 2008 at 12:00 am

good
Brittany said,

October 5, 2008 at 1:03 pm

I’m 15, almost 16. I currently just have two piercings in my ears. However, I’ve had approximately two others.

About a year ago, I asked my mother if she would permit me to get my navel, eyebrow, or cartilage pierced. My answer was a very firm, no. (Naturally, my mom is VERY laid back.)

So, because I wanted to show her that even if she told me no, I’d have my way- I went to a friends house and pierced both the cartilage and the navel. Coming home the next day, my mum nearly had a heart attack. The pretty blue jewelry dangling from my navel was the LAST thing that she wanted to see.

I can understand where you’re daughter is coming from when she says that she wants a variety of body modifications. I’m in a very similar situation myself, being only a bit younger then her. However, you can’t always cave. So what you’re doing is perfect.

Recently, I came across the Surface Hip Piercings, and since I saw them, my heart has been set. I want that and only that. My mum and I struck a deal, finally.
If I got good grades (I get my progress report in 5days) then she would permit.
BUT; my friend Jeremy, (whom has about 11 piercings of his own) had to come with us to the parlor.

My grades are all in the 90’s. ;] So, looks like I’m getting my way on this one.

Sometimes, agreements are the best way to go. Because then not only do they get what they want, but you get what you want.

Tell her that she has to get straight A’s in school, in order for you to allow a new piercing.
Or that she must- clean her room to even bring her slightly closer to the chances of a tattoo.

The little things add up, and when it comes down to it, everyone is happy.

I’m getting my first tattoo in April ‘09.
My mum is paying $100, I have to foot the rest of the $350 bill. (So, I have to find a way to get $250)
This was because the tattoo is huge.
But because I picked good placement, and something my mother knows I won’t regret, she’s okay with it.

Be open minded, and willing to compromise with your daughter.
It makes life A LOT easier. :]
In Blog We Trust « Moonbeam McQueen said,

October 10, 2008 at 6:32 pm

[...] this one was responding to a very old, as per usual sarcasm-infused post, which you can find here (if you haven’t fallen asleep yet). Seventy-three pretty wonderful comments on that one, [...]
Angela said,

October 28, 2008 at 5:37 am

hey i can tell you sth cause i did a monroe piercing on myself a couple of months ago.
i did it because mam didnt let me to do it and i was very angry.
i cleaned a niedle and …. i did it.
im very happy because it didnt hurt at all.
i believe that from body to body pain changes.
a girl which had done monroe at a store told me that she hurt too much.
and i think i know why.
she hurted because she didnt do it herself and she didnt trusted the guy.
if your daughter still wants to do a monroe let her know that she might pain
and put her self in great remorse about it.
i really like my monroe because it was done by MYSELF..
Sarah said,

November 7, 2008 at 3:52 am

Hi,
Piercings aren’t all that bad … I have a few myself; and I’m only 15 … I have my lip done, on the lower left side, my nose done, on my left side, my eyebrow, on my left, and a navel piercing … about a week ago, I decided that I had too many piercings on my left side, and I wanted to even things out a bit, by getting a Monroe. ( mind you, my bangs are parted on the left side, so it doesn’t look all that bad, you can barely even see my eyebrow at that, or my nose, sometimes … ) but, I went to go get it, and honestly, it hurt alot more then anything else. Maybe it’s cuz my right side of my face is more sensitive … I have no idea, but, it was the most painful piercing I’ve gotten … I’d have to say, on a rate of 1-10, it’d be 4. Unfortanetally, it’s still swollen, and it’s a bit … sore … but, it’ll be healed soon.

but I wonder if you can take it out sooner, and get a smaller one before the healing process is up … cuz honestly, I think the labret stud is too big for it, I’d want a smaller one.
But I did my piercings for all the wrong reasons … unfortanetally, I’ve become recently depressed, since my mother left my father, and how my father quickly ended up in jail for the remainder of his life right afterwards … mine wasn’t for beauty, and that’s why I’m somewhat ashamed of them … but, I’m glad with my monroe; I did that for me. I did it to show that sometimes, even the ugliest people on the inside, can still look beautiful on the outside.

make sure you’re daughter does it for herself … and nothing else. ( alot of people now just do piercing for the new trend, the ” emo ” trend … boy oh boy, how lame that is … )

honsetly, idk how my monroe piercing’s going to turn out … cuz it’s still sore and swollen … but, I guess all I can say is this, for your daughter:

1. Make sure she has no oral sex for a while!
2. make sure she rinses with mouthwash, extremely regularly
3. make sure she get’s those crusties off the labret, cuz that can cause build-up
4. make sure the piercing’s off the teeth. At first, she probably won’t be able to eat, cuz the labret’s flat disk will be trying to comfort itself on her gums.
5. be extremely careful of infections.
6. DO NOT use Peroxide for cleansing, it will only cause problems. Use Alcohol.
7. be extremely cautious of the piercing at first … until about 3 weeks. It will be sore … so make sure that after 3 weeks is up, you change the ring, so it’s not just hanging out there, lol. Get a shorter one.

I hope that helps!
poop said,

November 25, 2008 at 1:38 am

i have a monroe.
none of that happened.
it did not hurt at all.
it looks great.
i love it.
my mother is getting one now.
i think they look pretty on everyone.
as long as you’re not wearing a huge colored ball.
keep the little silver ball.
it looks better
Cherry said,

December 3, 2008 at 10:00 am

I just got my monroe piercing on Saturday. The pain was so little. Nothing more than my lip, labret, Tongue, or belly button. ( I think the belly button hurt most) While I only wear the labret and now the monroe I think it is my favorite one out of all of them. I had little to no swelling so after 2 days the in side part of the jewlery was getting hooked on my teeth when I spoke or ate anything. So I went 2 days later and he downsized because it was getting irritated because my teeth kept tugging on it. So now it is a little irriated on the inside and out and there is a small amount of pinching on the inside of my lip but I fix that with a q-tip and some listerene to gently move the skin back to the under part of the backing. All of my piercings stay a little red or sore for a couple weeks so its nothing that is a concern to me. Everyone heals differently.

My main reason for posting was I had to chuckle after reading moonbeammcqueen’s post back in August 2007. She said “what you want at 16 or 17 is not what you want at 30″ Well, I am 34 I did my belly button at 17. My tongue at 19 and didn’t get my first tattoo until I was 25. 20 tattoos later and a few piercings, my mother learned to embrace it. The older I got the more money I made to do what I wanted. As twisted as it seems to many those of us who love body art thiinks it compliments the body. My mother thinks it ruins it while I think it looks amazing!

So moms and dads. The best advice I can offer is to maybe come to some sort of agreement with your child. I have lots of tats, (5 more currently being drawn up now) And as much as it makes my mother cringe inside, she does not longer say NO ( and she will to some things even at 34) All she asks if no tats on my neck and NO QUARTER SLEEVE (which I do want) So in return for her allowing me to do most of what I want with no argument I respect her wishes and will not get something that will make it hard for her to look at. As far as my latest piercing, she does not know yet ( I am a bit nervous to tell her lol) A piercing can come out at any time. Some grow out of it as they get older and then some do not.

Best of luck…
Sarah said,

December 27, 2008 at 11:18 pm

I have a bunch of piercings. ear cartilage, triple piercings on the ear, nose, belly button, snakebites and monroe. Alot. yes. If your daughter holds the right sort of style those all are just somthing that you do to either a) fit in or b) express yourself. the monroe isnt the most painful. i think the snakebites were worse because it was two at once. the monroe hurts but its not the worse. i have a high tolerance for pain and i think if your daughter keeps the jewel down to somthing classy and has a fair tolerance to pain it wouldnt be awful and it would look nice. not to offend you but if your daughter would fit into the “preppy” catagory monroes can seem. . . a skanky. to say the least. if she takes good care of piercings then she shouldnt have to much of an issue with pain. I am 19 and i got my first non-costumary peircing when i was 12 and i got my catilage done. it isnt as big of a deal as you might think. its a way to make you feel special without doing anything amazingly drastic.
Brittany said,

February 7, 2009 at 9:19 pm

II THNK THE MONROE PIERCING IZ GORGEOUS!!!
Courtneyyy said,

February 8, 2009 at 10:26 am

I have my monroe pierced and it barely hurt at all. I got it done maybe a month ago and its already healed and everything. Maybe she didn’t keep hers clean or something but they are really pretty. And I’m 17.
heather said,

March 7, 2009 at 10:17 pm

i want a monroe. as far as tattoos go, i would like a couple of tattoos but i know that i don’t want to do anything that i would regret. i have a tendency to regret doing things so i know i shouldn’t do much to my body. some people live life with no regrets and can handle doing things such as getting certain tattoos. i just want a few small tattoos and a monroe. monroes are really classy, i think. i find them very attractive. people should realize that the decision making part of our brain doesn’t fully develop until we are twenty five. which is why a lot of people end up regretting things they did when they were younger. everyone should be careful in what they do.
FABULOUS said,

March 11, 2009 at 8:04 am

WELLL I THNK THIS PIERCING IS WAT I WANT!!!!! THIS IS SO CUTE I THNK!!!!!
I LIKE THE WAYIT LOOKS!! IMSOOO GETIN IT!!!!LOL
FABULOUS said,

March 11, 2009 at 8:04 am

WELLL I THNK THIS PIERCING IS WAT I WANT!!!!! THIS IS SO CUTE I THNK!!!!!
I LIKE THE WAYIT LOOKS!! IMSOOO GETIN IT!!!!LOL
Kaylaa said,

March 20, 2009 at 8:29 pm

I juust got a Monroe on Monday. It huurt sooooo much, i almost fainted and threw up after, it helps if you eat something sugary though, I love it ! Although my face swells and i have to clean it alot in about a month it should be healed ! =]
aoife said,

March 31, 2009 at 1:14 pm

erm yh you’re some weird overprotected parent boiii. its my 16th later this yr- my mums letting me get a monroe peircing, go to stay a night in a brighton hotel while i smoke weed and get pissed on rides on the pier.
Louise-Ellen said,

April 8, 2009 at 10:03 am

the monroe is a piercing i have been considering for a while the photograph in the original blog is the phot that has swayed me more tpwards it as it just looks so pretty and demure. however the factor that puts me off teh most is that alot of ‘towny’/ ‘chav’ types have this piercing and to get it i dont want it to make me look that way as i am more the alternative 50s style girl.
my mum also doesnt like any of my piercings ive got 7 from 8mil guage in my ear, nape surface piercing, stomach bell bar, my nose twice (on the same nostril), tongue, sternam, this is on my chest in between my cleevage done with a micro dermal anchor a fairly new type of piercing which is unable to come out unless surgically removed, i used to have my wrist pierced as a suface piercing but this didnt last and am waiting for the scars to heal to get micro dermal anchors put in over the scars.
she has come round to letting me do as i want and providing the told you so approach as she did alot when my wrist had to be taken out due to rejection oh and im 21. i think piercings can look nice if done in moderation and are suited to the persons face shape and style. im off to get another one all this has got me in the mood to be pierced
Brittany said,

June 16, 2009 at 2:54 am

I was just looking through info on monroe piercings.I was researching up on them because I was going to ask my parents if I could get one. I’m only in the 9th grade, and my parents would react the same way as you did. This article has convinced me not even to bother. So you saved one little girls face.

;D
Cammilla said,

August 7, 2009 at 10:04 am

Hey…
Basicly just thought i’d tell you, i done the Monroe piercing myself yesterday, yes it has swollen but it does not hurt getting pierced…like i said…i pierced mine myself!
it doesnt make you feel fainty and it also doesnt bleed for days, who done that girl you asked Monroe was obviously doing it wrong or something

Thanks
Esperanza Rose said,

August 8, 2009 at 1:27 am

Well my ex bf owns a tattoo place and ppl that have gotten their monrore periced have said yeah it kinda hurts whn ya 1st get it. but if u dont tak care of it well enough it will swell more than a few days and ud have to get it redone.
So if your daughter wants to get it done tell her that she needs to take care of it real good..
like u cant smoke,drnk achohol. and if u do use mouth wash immediatly.
ive gotten mine done and it only took about a week to heal beause i took care of i real good and when it would swell id put an ice pack or somehn like that an it would take the swelling down the pain also.
evie said,

September 18, 2009 at 11:25 am

OK first, piercings aren’t self brutalization. second, you really don’t understand that we are kids and we will do it whether our parents like it or not so get over it
krystal said,

September 18, 2009 at 11:29 am

I have my monroe done and it didn’t hurt at all. it only swelled for the following week and i haven’t taken it out since. that would probably be because they tightened it to tight and i cannot get it out!!!! but it doesn’t bother me. it never got infected, never had access puss (crust) as they like to call it, and i got a ring that had a rounded back and inner threaded so they say it’s better for your teeth. i have also seen plastic ones that they say cause less damage to teeth and gums! i am 21 though, and i didn’t get any piercings until after i was out of the house and on my own. i really don’t see what the big deal is though. it’s her body and she knows what she likes. she has to deal with the pain and the aftercare.

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Moonbeam McQueen

Which Part of “Quit Sticking Pointy Things into Your Face” Do You Not Understand?

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